Change
by Olympya
Summary: Post Nemesis. What could have happened when Beverly went to Medical.


She'd needed the change. Over fifteen years serving on a starship was a long time. She'd contemplated long and hard the reasons both for and against leaving. It was difficult, but it was what she needed to do. She was tired. She missed it: the camaraderie, the routine - the familiarity. She still wasn't sure when she'd feel at home here but as she kept telling herself, she needed the change.

Walking home from her shift at Medical, she wondered how long it would take her to reach her apartment and not be surprised when she wasn't greeted by the sliding door to her quarters. Raising her eyes to the night sky, she wondered just how _they_ were getting on. Smiling sadly, she clutched the collection of padds closer to her chest. '_Fifteen years is a long time Beverly, you needed the change_. _One day soon you're going to start believing that._'

Walking through the door to her home, she placed the padds down on the coffee table and made her way to the kitchen. Retrieving a glass of water from the replicator, her gaze settled on the blinking light coming from her computer screen in the dining room.

Her last stint as Head of Medical, fourteen years ago, had not prepared her for the demands on her time; the sheer amount of messages she received daily, this time around. Sipping her water, she turned on the screen and her finger hovered wickedly over the delete button. Looking at the screen, the water paused in her mouth.

'Message from Jean-Luc Picard:

Beverly, breakfast tomorrow? Jean-Luc.'

She swallowed. '_He's back in range?_'

* * *

><p>Waiting for his breakfast companion, Jean-Luc Picard adjusted himself in his seat. After all these years, when he looked around his quarters, it was still the 'D' he saw. Still the 'D' when he walked onto the bridge; as he walked through the corridors, the familiar faces of his old senior staff. '<em>Still, change is inevitable<em>.' That didn't mean it had become comfortable.

Turning his attention back to his companion, he watched Beverly settle herself into her chair as she placed her breakfast in front of her. Pain-au-chocolat and her usual coffee. Answering his question before he had even formed it, Beverly proceeded to bite into her breakfast.

"I fancied a change."

A raised eyebrow was his only response as he steered the conversation onto safer ground; Will and Deanna's last mission on the Titan, Worf's communiqués expressing his displeasure over his fellow poker player's bluffing ability on DS9.

Pushing her plate away from her and draining her coffee cup, Beverly stood up and pulled on her lab coat.

"My shift starts in half an hour Jean-Luc and I have some things I have to sort out beforehand."

"Indeed. I should be on my way to the bridge myself."

"How I've missed those early morning meetings."

Jean-Luc wondered if his face reflected her sad smile. "I've missed you. Same time tomorrow morning?"

Hesitation passed fleetingly over her face. '_Why is she always so hesitant to tell me how she feels?_'

"I'll be here. I've missed you too Jean-Luc."

Leaning forward, they both turned off their monitor, each of them with a lasting imprint of the other's face on their mind.

* * *

><p>Licking her lips, she could still taste his cheek, smell his skin, feel his shoulder under her hand. '<em>Has<em> _it really been four months since we said goodbye in the transporter room? He could be standing in front of me; I see him so clearly.' _She reprimanded herself._ 'This; this is why you needed a change Beverly - you couldn't stay._' As Beverly entered medical she struggled to recall her journey to work: her thoughts consumed solely by him. Cursing Jean- Luc's ability to distract her, she keyed in the code to her office, closed the door behind her and started her day.

* * *

><p>"No pain-au-chocolat today, Doctor?"<p>

"Not today, _Captain_. I missed the croissants too much." '_-what they symbolise; what and who they remind me of._'

"Besides, what kind of example would I be setting if it got out that the Head of Starfleet Medical eats chocolate for breakfast?"

"I'm sure the whole of Starfleet would be in uproar, Beverly. Croissants are clearly the wiser choice."

She'd missed him; his ability to tease her. She missed that interaction, very few people teased the Head of Starfleet Medical. '_Have I ever really appreciated the closeness of the senior staff - my family?_' Of course, she had friends here, her apartment, sub-space communications and messages flying back between _them_; but it wasn't home. It wasn't the_ Enterprise_.

With Beverly distracted, Jean-Luc took the opportunity to peruse her face. Her eyes shone yet were dull, even glazed, all at once. He remembered they looked that way the last time they had had breakfast – two months ago. The Enterprise had travelled out of sub-space range and he'd had to leave her behind all over again. '_How many more times am I going to put myself through this before I finally take an Admiralty on Earth just to be near her once again?_'

As she started chatting idly to him, his thoughts drifted to that last day in the Transporter Room. The smell of her hair as she kissed him; his shoulder aflame under her hand, her lips on his cheek, the desperate hope that one of them would have the courage to say something-

"Bridge to Captain Picard."

"On my way Commander." Closing the comm, he turned his attention back to his companion. "Beverly, I have to go. You know we're heading off on a mapping survey for the next month? I will let you know if we're back in range after that."

"I remember. I should be off too; I have some things to take care of before my lunch meeting." '_Just say it Beverly, he won't think any less of you_.' "Take care Jean-Luc. I...I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you Beverly. Try not to work too hard."

"You too, _Captain_."

Turning off the comm screen, he rose from his chair, mixed feelings passing over him. '_Change can take many forms._'

* * *

><p>Her finger hovering over the 'send' button, she sighed. It had been three weeks since their last contact, and she had filled her time with work: lunches with old friends, getting back into her workout routine, but his face invaded her head every chance it got. '<em>Would he understand the words?' <em>Taking a deep breath, she turned her back to the screen and pressed the button.

* * *

><p>Entering his quarters, Jean-Luc replicated a cup of Earl Grey and wandered over to his computer where the light blinked in the dim light. Turning the screen on, he raised his cup to his mouth.<p>

'Message from Beverly Crusher:

Maybe we shouldn't be afraid.'

Placing his cup on the table, he sat back in his chair lost in deep thought.

* * *

><p>Walking up behind her; his eyes captivated by the way her hair shone in the soft light of the bar, he reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder.<p>

"The hard working, much demanded Head of Medical does let herself out sometimes, who knew?"

"Jean-Luc!" Setting her glass on the table, she jumped up to face him. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, the _Enterprise_ happened to be in the area. Imagine my shock when I call your office to find that you're out; in a bar no less."

"Well, I am only human Jean-Luc."

"So, after all these years you have finally accepted it."

Leaning toward him, she lowered her voice. "Well Captain, don't go spreading it around. I have a reputation to maintain you know."

"Your secret is safe with me, _Doctor_."

Her companion signalled her exit over his shoulder and she mouthed a word of thanks. She would owe _someone_ some flowers in the morning, but it seemed a small price to pay. Pulling Jean-Luc onto the seat beside her, she caught the bartender's attention.

As the bartender announced that closing time was approaching, Beverly spotted a vacant space on the small dance floor. Finishing her drink for courage, she stood up and took Jean-Luc's hand, pulling him towards the dance floor. Relishing the chance given to him, he pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her.

Her eyes reflected his when he looked into them. Happiness, love, hope; but the one that struck him most was the peace within them. He knew she wasn't ready to tell him out loud. It no longer mattered. He knew and she was, at last, comfortable with him knowing. There was much they had to discuss; much time they needed to take, but; for the first time, there was a surety that they would get there. '_Change is inevitable._' The words no longer brought him sadness.

"Beverly, I came because I missed you."

"I know." He raised his hand, resting it on the back of her neck.

"You saved the last dance for me."

He felt the smile on her face resting against his shoulder. "Always."


End file.
